In day to day life we can often feel overwhelmed, when in reality we are actually “underwhelmed”. Our daily life may be filled with activities which feel empty, meaningless, which in effect saps of us of our confidence and passion because we have no time left during our day for self care.
When we have a schedule filled with tedious, underwhelming tasks, our inner critic/mean girl convinces us that we are tired, inadequate or not doing enough. The problem isn’t doing more, or simply having better time management skills, it’s about connecting to what our passion and inspiration is and letting unnecessary tasks fall away.
To do this we must create a list of daily, weekly, monthly tasks that you feel overwhelmed by. Then sort them into three groups:
CHOOSE is the group of tasks which require you to make a conscious choice to do. These are tasks that may not be overly enjoyable but are necessary. By changing our self talk that surround these tasks we can have a more positive experience when undertaking them. For example; If you have to do important paperwork you may be tempted to moan and procrastinate. However, it is important to change the way you think about these tasks. Say to yourself “I choose to do this, it is important that i complete this task. I own this decision and I will follow through”. Make a clear commitment which empowers you – Reclaim your decisions and actions!
DELEGATE is the group of tasks which you have taken on board but could easily by done by others with delegation. For example: organising for other family members to cook dinner or do household chores when you are already overwhelmed with additional tasks that only you can do.
LOSE is the group of should’s and ought to’s which in all honesty you do not have time to do and can save for a later date. For example; You may feel that you ‘should’ have an extra hobby, and feel self pressure to learn something like guitar, which requires large chunks of time you already do not have. You may attempt to learn, but never seem to make any progress and forget to practice, which results in your feeling like a failure. It is important to realise that these tasks can be saved for a later date, perhaps once you have successfully chosen & delegated – which will result in you feeling that you have more free time and energy.
Hopefully, once we have sorted through the chaos, our priorities will become much clearer. Rather than there being a buzz of stress and unfinished tasks hanging over your head, there will be a clear list of things you can calmly work through. This will mean that you can be more efficient and have more energy to do the things that you love like watching a movie, going out with friends or going to the gym.
Caroline Williams is a registered counsellor and nationally registered homicide/major crimes counsellor in New Zealand working with individuals and couples to help them make the life they love happen. With a practical and down to earth approach, over 15 years training and experience in anxiety, PTSD, depression, addictions and trauma she helps people make their bold real life changes happen. Contact her at therapycaroline@gmail.com for in person or zoom sessions.