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Are You Addicted To Drama?

Eckhart Tolle believes we create and maintain problems and drama because they give us a sense of identity, it becomes a familiar pattern of who we are. We see not only ourselves but the world through these patterns and get stuck in a Groundhog Drama day of thoughts feelings and action ( or inaction).

We replay past mistakes over and over again in our head like personalised YouTube clips of ways to fail or be hurt .Each time we do so we are allowing feelings of shame and a belief in futility to shape our lives in the present. With each worry we gain a false sense of problem solving but in reality we keep reinforcing the feelings of being stuck, hurt, rejected etc, its as if the hamster wheel is spinning but the hamster died long ago.

The truth is there will never be a time when life is simple and problem free but there is the option of being able to constructively worry and let go of the drama.

Sometimes we need to get off the hamster wheel of drama and try something unfamiliar which is full of change and growth.

We need to let go of the things which weigh us down and create space for the joy and vitality to enter. The following are some simple steps to hunt out the drama and begin to let it go!

  • Recognise when you might be creating the drama or at least enabling it to continue

  • Don’t feed into other peoples drama

  • Your personal life doesn’t need to be on Facebook

  • Reconsider unhealthy or “drama fuelled” relationships

  • Press the stop button, when you are playing the You Tube clips press make a choice to stop

  • play a different clip/scenario where you are able to problem solve and feel joy

  • Set constructive ways to solve problems

  • Be kind to yourself, we all need some compassion in our day

  • Say something supportive and positive about others, look for solutions

Caroline Williams is a registered counsellor and nationally registered homicide / major crimes counsellor in New Zealand working with individuals and couples to help them make the life they love happen. With over 15 years training and experience in anxiety, depression, addictions and trauma she is a prolific writer and workshop facilitator.

Contact her at for in person or zoom counselling and make this year the one that counts!

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